On my way to California, I met a Celebrity!

The most amazing thing happened today; you might not believe it.  As some of you know, I’m on vacation to California; right now as I write, I’m still not actually in California, but that hasn’t stopped amazing things from happening. For example, I really thought my vacation was off to a miserable start when the ticket counter guy informed the passenger’s of my flight that there wasn’t enough room on the flight for everyone. In fact, I was called up specifically, and asked if I would be flexible and be able to go on a later flight. I felt pressured into saying “yes” like I normally do, so I said “yes” and they put me on a flight on the next gate over. It took me to Newark, which was never in the plan, but eventually I wound up in Houston Texas; that’s where I am right now.

First of all, because of the grand sacrifice I made, Continental Airlines has given me a 300 dollar gift certificate, which is good for flights anytime this year. My original ticket only cost me 260 dollars to begin with, so this is great news for me. If this little vacation goes well, I could fly out again sometime this year for FREE.

That’s nice in all and I am a little happy about it, but that’s far from the highlight of the day. I saw Richard Simmons walking through the terminal with who may have been his life partner, I don’t know; I’m not exactly sure if he’s gay or not; anyway, I smile at him and he says “You forgot to shave today! Don’t you know that there are fifty-million people at this airport today, and they’re all going to see you like that,” he said this kidding; being nice as can be, and I said grinning back at him “Oh gosh, now I’m embarrassed!” and a quick as flick of the fingers he says “you shouldn’t be embarrassed; you look great!” and I said “Ah, shucks!” at least that’s what I wish I said… I don’t really remember what I said after that. He moved on and left me there in utter shock and awe. What a great guy! He made me feel great! He might not have meant a word, but that doesn’t matter to me.

After that, I sat at the bar of this Airport restaurant and eventually ordered the Catfish platter. This nice cougar-type lady, sat next to me and we talked for an hour about all sorts of things. Politics, Celebrities, drugs, India, and other foreign countries. She was trying to convince me that I should go out of the country and see what the world has to offer. She’d been to India and said she had a love hate relationship with the country; then this other guy sat down and said he didn’t recommend going to India because he worked there and hated it. I kept the conversation going even though I never said that I ever wanted to go to India. It would be nice, but I haven’t thought that much about it to be honest. What was I going to tell him though… they went off on it for a while; I paid the bartender, and told them about my encounter with Richard Simmons before I left. I don’t think she knew who Richard Simmons was but I didn’t want her to feel like an idiot. She started to tell some weird story about some other celebrity she saw today. She said that there was some comedian beeping at people and telling them to move…she thought he was a celebrity comedian or something [she thought when I told my story about Richard Simmons, that he was some comedian because he said something funny to me; she’d been drinking a little] but anyway the guy she thought was a famous comedian was just an airport shuttle driver. I can see how she could get them confused. She was a nice lady though.

 I couldn’t eat all of my Catfish platter; they gave me a lot more than anyone could ever hope to eat, but the restaurant experience was good overall because I had nice people to talk to. Unfortunately, the catfish was really hot and I burnt my mouth all over, but remembering Richard Simmon’s  words took the sting away.

At any rate, I’m about get on my last flight to California. First class actually; cause that how I roll…fly…glide?

Weird Dreams

I had a strange dream last night that I want to share, not because it's symbolic or anything, but because I'm beginning to forget it. I woke up after the dream and told myself that I should remember this. Why? Maybe I was tired and it meant something too me at the time. I know for a fact that it had a emotional impact on me, and I guess I could analyze the dream and see why. Anyway, here's the dream with all the details that I can remember:

I was with a group of people, and we were dressed relatively normal and traveling through various locations, wielding swords. I've seen the main location in my dreams before. It was sort of a creative office[like an advertising agency]/ museum. In a previous dream I was given a tour of the museum aspect and it was kind of like a fun house/ freak show and I was being stalked by something dark. Now, me and the group of adventurers were the hunters. Most of us were good and noble but you could tell there were a few bad-apples in the bunch, and they wore black.

When we fought our enemies, the scene turned into something out of a Japanese Role Playing Game. I've never played one[and haven't played a video game in months], but in a Japanese RPG you are given certain skill points, magical items, and weapons that you are allowed to use when it's your turn in a fight. So, when we battled and it was our enemy's turn, we had to stand still and take their attacks; it went both ways. Some of our allies died in these battles, but could be revived after the battle was won. I don't remember too much about the battles, but I remember the rules. 

The part I told myself to really remember was this: we were in a dungeon now and of course there were treasure chests everywhere and we all went around opening them, and either got gold, potions, weapons, or magical items. I got a bird, a bluebird. I was a little disappointed, but then I read that it would assist me in my battles, and would damage my enemies automatically without wasting my "turn points". So, then I thought it was awesome! I put the bluebird on my shoulder and planned to explore more deeply into the dungeon, but then something happened. One of my "allies" got jealous and grabbed the bluebird off my shoulder and snapped it's neck, then he filleted it and ate the raw meat. I was furious, because I had connected with the bird and I owned it! I didn't kill the man, I just talked to him about it and he eventually asked for my forgiveness, but I didn't trust him. The dream ended with me feeling very negative.

I really don't like when tiny animals get killed, it always makes me upset; especially when it's done on purpose, without reason, or, in other words: maliciously. Sure, he ate the meat, but I think he did it just to make me upset. We had plenty of fruit and turkey legs, so there was no reason why he should cut open my bird and eat it in front of me! I remember asking him over and over "why would you do that?" It didn't make sense then, and it surely doesn't make sense now. 

I'm sure it's all very symbolic; it reminds me of several things in my life where my friendship has been taken advantage of, and a friend goes behind my back and hurts my feelings. However, I didn't know this guy, but I'll remember his face, so when I see him in the future I'll know he can't be trusted. So, maybe it's a warning. I remember the man, more than I remember anything else in the dream. If or when I see him again, I will know not to trust him with my bluebirds.    

Video Project

It's that time of the year again; FHE film festival time! I'm a pretty gifted film editor, and like making stupid little films. This year's project is a little ambitious. For an explanation of what type of effect I want our film to have, listen to the video above and replace the question of "what is best in life?" with this question "Orin! What's the 'take-home' message of your film?" Conan says it how it is and I would like to echo his response: "to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women"

I'm excited about this project, but it's taking me away from time where I could be working on my main project; my book. Progress has slowed down because I have no discipline. I will no longer allow myself to get caught up in TV shows [except for "24" on Mondays and "The Soup" on Fridays] I will no longer be distracted by video games. I will read more, think more, and create more. All will be well.

The video project happens to be a parody of "Conan" movies, gangsta rap, and possibly Zombie movies too. It's going to be fun; I spent a few hours yesterday working on a script and had a meeting with the "crew" last night. I received some great creative input; now all I have to do is convert that to a product.   

Madness!

My book is coming along very well,  The first part is almost complete; I'm about ten chapters in. So, that's dandy and all, but sometimes when I'm on the outside looking in, I worry about my personal sanity. I've always thought I was kinda strange, but now as I'm going back and analyzing some stories of my past, I have become very concerned for myself. I remind myself of Dr. Frankenstein, when he's on the brink of his greatest scientific finds, he is also on the brink of insanity. Perhaps too, I will create a monster that will one day destroy me.

I've never thought so much about my childhood and teenage years then I have recently. Other than when I was a child and teenager, of course. The more I write, the more I'm able to remember my past. Some of these things I haven't thought of since before my mission, and I suppose it's been like that for a reason. Sometimes you just need to move on from what has happened in the past, and not think about them. That's how I've dealt with most heartache at least. The longer I go without talking about things the happier and better off  I am. Sometimes my Mom brings up some of the stuff that happened when I was fifteen and I get really depressed. I think, "I could have gone without being reminded of what time of the year it is." Right now, I'm doing it to myself by writing this book. The book just happens to be loosely based on my childhood, but written in a very different, creative way. It's a realistic view of my childhood, with all the names of the innocent changed for protection, but at the same time the main story is completely contrived and fantastical; allowing me to be fun and creative about it. So, it's Gonzo Journalism meets a ghost story, with a twist of insanity, and ADD. Gonzoastanitadd is what I'll call it! Haha!

It's written in third person, so that's helped me distance myself from it a little; like I said I changed the names too, so it's almost like the little stories are about someone else, so that being said it's easier for me to write. It's been great therapy so far, and I think finally writing it and getting it out will help me put it in the past.

I'm mostly happy right now, I'm a little sick at the moment; I've got a fever or something and I'm sniffling a little. All is well however, and I hope all is well with you too.    

Rate of Fire

Well, I'm going to try still keep my blog updated, but to let you in on something, I've started writing my book. So, I'm laying it down thick, and am devoting all of my efforts to reading and writing. My blog entries will probably be less frequent; but I would like to, at least, update it every week; but like I said most of my writing efforts are being focused on the big story. I started writing on Sunday and have gotten very far into the introduction; which is hilarious, because it's narrator gets very distracted and goes off on tangents.  I have not even introduced any characters yet, besides the narrator; but he's definitely setting the story up through a set of thought provoking quandaries. I'm about ten pages in.

I'm excited to keep writing, so I'll leave you with a follow up story to my last post, that I thought was kinda funny:

I was still upset about not being able to donate blood and I was sharing my disappointment with my coworkers. I was upset mostly because I wasn't able to donate because my pressure was so high [which is a dumb reason], and we resolved as a group that humans just don't want my blood. However, Vampires are always looking for blood... they are an underfed sub-culture and need blood to live. So, supply and demand! I've got the stuff if you've got the money! I can sell my blood at discounted price because I make so much of it. Or an inflated price because I really didn't see too much of a market for it on the internet when I looked. Sure, you can buy gallons of fake blood on Ebay; but what about the real deal, premium grade, O negative crude? I was thinking about selling it by the vial[for snacks] or pint[for meals]; they'd sell like hot cakes! If the truth be told, a lot of Vampires have an identity crisis; most of them wish they didn't have to suck people's blood all the time. Some supposedly live on rats and all sorts of animals when they know what kind of blood they need to really live. Are you a Chupacabra or a Vampire? Anyway, It would give them a guilt free way of feeding themselves. They would know that I'm not going to die, so they're not killing anyone. So, it's win-win! I get rid of my excess blood and feel good, and they get rid of the rage that can control them if they go too long without it. An idea was suggested for a store front, but I don't know if I could supply that much. It would probably end up being more of a online service similar to Ebay, and my blood would auction off at unheard of prices. Disease free, low in cholesterol; a little high in iron, but that only adds to the flavor. If I'm not allowed to save the lives of the living, I might as well improve the lives of the undead. At least, that's how I look at it.     

Genetics

So, I try to go donate blood with a friend on Monday, and I get turned away because I fail the blood pressure test, for the hundredth time. You can't donate if your pressure goes above the high mark, and my did for sure. The phlebotomist tells me I should talk to some healthcare specialist, or check into the emergency room. I've heard similar speech a hundred times, so I tell the lady in a grumpy voice "Listen lady,  I've had Hypertension ever since I was a little kid," They used to think I got nervous around doctors and that's what shot it up; it wasn't natural. Here I was, a skinny little kid with high-blood pressure; that doesn't make sense! Shouldn't I be a two-hundred pound six year old? No, I was just a little thing, and I remember going to Wal-Mart, and checking my pressure, I couldn't sit in the chair right even, and my arm was so skinny; how accurate could that be?

Anyway, the phlebotomist is sitting there looking scared out of her mind, as if she was going to witness a death or something, and I'm just like whatever... but honestly, I was a very disappointed. I went and sat down at the table where the snacks were for the people who actually donated while I waited for my friend. It was a good moment for me to sit and reflect while my blood pressure climbed higher and higher; because I was really angry with myself; frustrated is a better word for how I was feeling. Why? Well, I've been getting a lot of exercise lately. Right now, I'm running about two miles straight in fifteen minutes. I'm losing weight and am starting to look good naked; I should have said better naked cause I always look good. I've also been eating somewhat healthy, taking vitamins, and generally taking good care of myself. So why can't I be healthy like anyone else?

The phlebotomist suggested genetics and I said "maybe," but I hadn't heard of any of my family having "the silent killer" when they were growing up. They do now! Lot's of them have had strokes and whatnot. Nobody's died from heart problems, however. Everybody in my family dies of cancer, do I dare to be different?

Yes I do, actually I think it's the fact that I am different that makes me have this weird "health complication". Maybe it's evolution, maybe it's some crazy suppressed gene that might have been necessary in the past. Think about this... this might seem sick to some of you, but I actually get pleasure out of giving blood. It feels very good, I think it actually relieves some of the built up pressure. I remember reading about how they use to "bloodlett" back in the day to stop strokes and for many other health related reasons. I get pleasure out of bleeding; even if I get cut and blood starts to gush, it amplifies any situation I'm in. However, let me say; I've never cut myself to make myself feel better, it's always been on accident. Like during a sport if I get cut I never feel it, but i feel this great burst of energy... I later find out that I'm bleeding, and everyone freaks a little. Bloodletting is mostly seen as harmful now, but I was angry that I wasn't able to donate for that reason. Can you please release some of my built up pressure! It would make me feel better.

Why do I think I have high blood pressure? Well, I think I my body produces a lot of blood. More blood than normal! Like when I've actually donated blood, they only take a pint... I never even feel it, and I wish they would take two so I could save 6 lives, instead of just three lousy lives. I'm O negative, it's the universal blood donor type. Maybe I'm like this so I can save more lives, but alas! I can't pass the pressure test. Maybe, my ancestors were warriors... they might, have very well been Vikings, who were known for their bloodlust. Maybe, I'm genetically compensating for expectant blood loss. Maybe I'm supposed to get in fights every once in a while, maybe even a sword fight or two. Overall, I feel healthy; I'm a little amped most of the time but that goes with living on the edge of sanity and I've tiptoed across that line back and forth since birth. 

OOPS got to go to work!  

Women?!=) ;(

Well, I'm discouraged with women. I was going to do some reading before I wrote this entry, but I'm too distracted. I've just heard too many stories, and have been involved in many tragic relationships over the last few years, and it makes me not want to even be in one. 

It's not true though, I do want to be in one[a relationship], but ya'll don't understand; I've got issues! I use to be quite a lovable little boy; my parents say the use to call me "Orin kissy-face"; but it wore off somehow, and I became an angry boy, who'd get in fights for no reason. People use to say I would walk around school looking like I was going to punch somebody in the face all the time. Before that, I use to always want to be around someone kissing them all the time.  That's how I want to be now, but I don't really have the opportunity. One day I'll write about why my mood changed... it's very complicated and will take a minute, so I'll save it for a time when I really want to write about it; it's not overly pertinent to the topic at hand. 

The topics at hand are: 

"Why can't we have a happy relationship?" 

"Why do we have so many fears when it comes to getting involved?" and

"Who know what else, I have ADD and probably wont stay on topic" 

I've seen a lot of relationships recently be doomed by separation and divorce. It's happened to a few of my friends lately and they're really having a hard time adjusting to being single again. It's always hard for me after I've been with someone so long, I almost can't imagine how hard it would be to have been married, then get a divorce, and try to hang out with "the guys" again. I wouldn't know what to do!

It reminds me of my mission. I was so use to being with someone all the time that when I actually got home and had nobody... well, it depressed the crap out of me! I was very happy when my buddies Jordan and Mike got home. It was almost like I was a missionary again, except I was jaded at that point. Women were still, and still are a mystery; but back then I failed on the approached. "All I wanted was somebody to love me, I didn't mean to scare you!" I scared a lot of girls back then, telling them I loved them; I would get terribly jealous for no reason... it was awful. I don't get as bad now, but sometimes it gets me down.

What gets me down worse is when you hear about somebody, a friend of mine, put his heart on the line for a girl, only to get it ripped out. He'd been in love with this girl since forever. He told me, he remembered the first time he saw her. He said she was walking in slow motion; he took it all in. He knew that he was going to love that girl. He did; he fell in love. Over the years they became really good friends, but they never dated; he wanted to, but she was dating all these jerks... but he was going to be her friend, for sure. So he was; he was her best friend. 

She went to live with her Dad at some point because she was having problems... an entire galaxy of problems. But he didn't care he was going to love her no matter what kind of problems she had; he was going to be her best friend. He'd go up there to visit; help her Dad with repairs, be a good friend to the family, everyone loved the guy. Members of that family are some of his best friends. She loved him. She told him she loved him, but it wasn't romantic yet. I might have been interpreted as a loving friendship. But she did tell him, if she would ever marry anybody, it would have been him or some other douche she dated for years.

He got an idea in his head, "Well, maybe I'll propose to her," he thought. When he told me, I was nervous but really excited because he was really excited. He had a new glow about him, you could really tell that he was happy. He bought a ring, and proposed to her; she said yes! Now he was really happy. I really thought she would say no; I really had my doubts, but she said yes and I was glag for him. He was even happier! 

Anyway, to make a long story short, he goes up there to surprise her and it turns out that she's hanging out with the douche she use to date for the day and had made out with him. She tells my friend that she was trying to see where they were at; to see if the douche were okay with her getting married or whatever, but that's bullshiz!!! How can you do that to somebody you love? Well, either you don't really love them, or you just have an entire galaxy of problems to deal with. 

So, hearing  stories like this scares me. Hearing stories about terrible divorces and with children involved, scares me more. I've heard a lot lately, and I'm worried that I'm gonna get caught up and make my own set of mistakes, and make my life more miserable; if that's even possible!!! Just kiddin on that last part, but this entry needed a little comic relief; it was a desperate move.

I'm worried I'm attracted to the wrong women sometimes. It's okay, it's part of growing, but I hate making mistakes. I'm a perfectionist who never gets anything right, so I'm doomed to be miserable forever. One day I'll figure it all out, and people will come to me. They'll journey from all over the world to get on my island, climb my mountain, and enter my sanctum, where they'll be greeted by the smells of incense and peace. There they will ask me the answers to all their problems, and I will say "Can't you see I have more problems then I can even deal with?! Why do you think I live on this island, away from everything?! I can't deal with this right now!!!! Get outa here!"